Wednesday, December 30, 2015

How to "vacation" with a toddler...

Lessons learned today about coexisting peacefully and "vacationing" with a toddler:

1. Always give your toddler enough "warning time" before transitioning to a new activity, especially when hand-held technology and Bob the Train is involved. 🚞🚞🚞

2. Even with such warning time, your toddler is still likely to have a tantrum. 💥

3. The possibility for such a tantrum increases exponentially when in any public location. 💥💥

4. Especially in a restaurant. 💥💥💥

5. And even more so if the restaurant is already packed, loud, and over-stimulating. 💥💥💥💥

6. Never underestimate how long a seemingly boring game of throwing bath toys into a pool can last. 🏊🏻🏊🏻🏊🏻

7. And your toddler will not forget about this game, even after an afternoon nap. 🌟🌟🌟

8. It doesn't matter if you no longer have your swimsuit on and cannot easily retrieve the bath toys your toddler throws into the pool. Get your suit back on, go in the water with your clothes on, or find another creative, quick way to get the toys (i.e.: with a net). 💦💦💦

9. Should you fail to find a way to fetch these toys in exactly 0.5 seconds, your toddler may lose it. 😩😩😩

10. Completely.😡😡😡

11. Your toddler doesn't care if your boobs hurt or if you are carrying another child. He will still feel free to climb, walk, slap, and physically "attack" you, especially if you lie on the floor. #mybad 😱😱

12. Never tell a toddler he cannot read the book you currently are enjoying. He will take the book from you, "read" it himself, and then place it in his basket of personal books. Good luck trying to read it in peace. 👏👏

13. Always find a way to distract your toddler while changing his diaper. You may end up singing the same "Wheels on the Bus" song 30 times. Deal. 🚍🚍🚍

14. Your toddler will always prefer to eat what you're eating, even if the same exact food on already on his plate.🍔🍔🍔

15. You need to master mind reading to attempt to fully understand what your toddler wants, especially with food. Good luck. 🍕🌭🍟🌯🌮🧀🍗🍖🍤🍳🍞🌽🌶

16. Your toddler may behave like an angel in public yesterday, but anything goes today. Two days of sanity in a row?! Haha!! 😂😂😂

17. Be prepared to master your toddler's own specific language, which evolves daily and where 30 words may sound the same but mean entirely different things.🎖

18. Please gain the ability to access milk immediately, anywhere, anytime. 🍼🍼🍼

19. When things start to get thrown, they're about to get ugly. 😳😳

20. Brace yourself for the ride of your life EVERY day! 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

And I wouldn't have it any other way. 😍😍😍

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