A work in progress...

Thanks to the Timehop app, I am reminded daily what exactly I did and posted on social media on this same day every previous year (since such frivolity existed, of course). To be honest, I'm often appalled with the sheer amount of photos I posted on FB, especially in 2012-13. It's a wonder I still have any FB friends at all! 😳😳😳

I did some more thinking today and found it interesting that I over-put myself -- and my photos -- out there at such a fragile time in my life. Three years ago, Greg and I were dealing with a painful fertility struggle, punctuated by two devastating miscarriages. I was also dealing with depression and anxiety, as I have throughout my life, this being a particularly dark case and time. ☁️☁️☁️

I wish I could go back and tell the Kay then that everything was going to work out and be OK, that we would soon be blessed with two amazing boys (I'm assuming I'll feel this way about BBL2 once he makes his appearance -- hehe😉). I wish I could tell her to stop being so hard on herself, stop feeling so guilty, stop trying to please everyone, and stop trying to strive for perfection -- and control -- over everything. 👏

It's been one heck of a journey since then. I am still in weekly talk therapy and really look forward to my sessions every week. I'm continuing to learn so much about myself and understand why I am how I am. I've been lucky too. 🌟🌟

Since Will was born in 2014, I have definitely changed for the better. Greg immediately sensed a calm acceptance and sense of relief come over me once he arrived, something he had never seen before (and he's known me since 2001). Close friends and family noticed the same phenomenon. I began to too. 💞

Will has been such a gift to our family and has brought me a new way of living my life and viewing my self-worth. He has greatly helped me in my journey of self-love and acceptance by demonstrating what unconditional love can be, just as Greg has time after time throughout our marriage. Will has made me more into a more kind, patient, easy-going, laidback, and calm person, who is at peace with herself and what she has to offer to the world. He has helped me not be afraid to stand up to injustice and speak my truth, especially at work, even when it is hard to do so. And most importantly, Will helps me keep life in perspective and understand what is truly important at the end of the day: love, family, faith, and happiness. 👶🏻💞😍

Yes, Mommyhood has changed me for the better. I know I am still a work in progress but strive to live the best life possible every day -- for my family and myself. I am proud of how far I've come and not afraid to admit it hasn't been easy. I try to forgive myself, stay positive, keep things in perspective, and take things one day at a time. And this is easier said than done some days. 😔

I encourage you to explore your own journey to self-fulfillment and happiness. Find someone to talk to about it. Take time to listen to your own truths, even if they are difficult to admit to yourself. The more we know ourselves, the happier we will be and the better chance we will have of living our best life every day. Go to it, amazing Warrior Women!! 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

#acceptwhoyouare #loveyourself #speakyourtruth