TGIF!!!

Happy Friday, warrior women! We made it! Woohoo! 

In the spirit of gratitude, I shall compose another list (7 items long, of course) of what I am most thankful for today:

1. One smiling, active, and obsessed-with-being-read-to toddler. Despite an epic meltdown before bed (due to his pure exhaustion with having taken a shorter nap today), I can't help but smile. Parenting is exhausting but also so amazing and exhilarating. #soblessed

2. Rice pudding. For some reason, I crave it all day long now. That and bread. And cheese. And mac 'n cheese. Soon I will be 500 pounds. #preggerproblems

3. Pink Out Day at school, where I got to get all dressed up in pink and look ridiculous in a tutu, all in the name of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. #bestcauseever #mymomisasurvivor 

4. I kept the tutu on all day with minimal issues, including not much itching. #outfitwin

5. Turning initial frustration over my 5am OTF class being full to taking an impromptu afternoon class there with a new trainer. Great way to end the workweek! #sweatoutstress

6. Getting to escape the house after Will's meltdown with Dexter the dog. It was crisp and chilly, just how I like fall. #walkingthedogsolvesallproblems #getoutsideandbreathe

7. Listening to an audiobook on my daily walks. Current selection: The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins. It's awesome, reading like a Hitchcock thriller and narrated in a pleasant British accent. #audiobooksareanewloveofmine

Here's to a great start to your Halloween weekend, warrior women!! Xoxoxo #cantwaittoseepicsofallthelittleones 😍😍😍

Gratitude matters!

Since 7 has always been my lucky number, on this Friday eve, I've decided to list 7 things from today that made me happy and I am grateful for:

1. Will being adorable in his monkey costume at his school's Halloween parade. I also didn't mind (secretly) that he clung to me and refused to let me put him down on the ground. See, Greg?!! He still likes me too!! #mommywin

2. Panera's You Pick 2 selections, especially their mac 'n cheese and autumn squash soup. #nomnomnom

3. My 4-legged walking buddy. He's a trooper. #lovemybrusselsgriffon

4. Cooking for my boys. I forgot to take a picture of my 3-cheese tortellini with meat sauce, but Greg approved. I impressed myself too. #wifewin

5. This gorgeous fall day. #lovemesomesunshine

6. Shopping at Wegman's while preggers. Oh, the endless possibilities! See pic below. And yes, the cookies are delicious. #eatallthethings

7. Tomorrow is Friday, and I'm in bed before 10 pm. #lifewin

Take time to express gratitude for all of your little life blessings! Life is too short and precious not to.

#everydayjoy #littlethingsmatter #gratitude 

Stay the course...

https://www.facebook.com/HuffPostParents/posts/1021975291158147

Because we could all use a good laugh at the end of a very long Hump Day.

Speaking of which, is it just me, or does this week already seem like the LONGEST week ever?!! Add in a full moon and Halloween, and you've got yourself quite the week of teaching. #goodtimes

Stay the course and keep fighting the good fight, warrior women! I promise it will be worth it.

#youcandoit #beastmode #onedayatatime #attitudematters

The apple and the tree...

The apple never falls far from the tree.

This saying has always fascinated me, as has the nature vs. nurture argument. This topic is particularly interesting as a long-time educator who is now a new parent.

As a teacher, I've always looked forward to parent conferences, the ultimate chance to see if students' parents were just as you imagined them to be ... and hopefully not worse! Much of how a child acts and behaves in school is directly dependent on the quality, structure, and love present in their home environments. Knowing how dysfunctional so many of my school's students' homes are, it's often a miracle they come to school in one piece, let alone function. 

I'm not blaming parents here, nor am I trying to comment on race or poverty. That's for another day and dissertation (Believe me, this equity warrior is passionate about closing the achievement gap!). My perspective has simply broadened since becoming a parent myself. It's a hell of a hard job. Even Adele mentioned that today in an interview (Her new single? WOW. Epic). 

I had my parent conference with Will's teacher last week and got a copy of the report back today. I am so happy he's thriving in school and learning how to more appropriately socialize with other toddlers. Thankfully, he's not a biter. Yet.

The teacher mentioned that Will "needs his personal space." This made me laugh, as Greg and I are both exactly like that. I operate much like an extrovert but need to unwind and recharge on my own, as an introvert does. Perhaps I'm an ambivert? Will has been like this since he was a newborn, and he is known as both Mr. Smiley and Mr. Independent at school. 

It's mind-blowing to see bits of yourself in your child. Will is definitely a great combo of us both, in looks and personality. He's Mr. Social and loves meeting people like me while also being wary when necessary and always inquisitive like Greg. 

I can't wait to see how far our little apple has fallen from the tree. Probably not TOO far, and that's perfectly OK with me.

#toddlerlife #thenextgeneration 

I only love Daddy!

Will is going through a "I only love Daddy" phase. I'm trying not to take this too personally. 

After all, Greg reminds me that every single pet we have owned has loved and been devoted to me, even the ferrets (OK -- let's not discuss the ferrets. If you don't know our infamous ferret story, I will tell you one day...when I can drink again). Ha!

But Will is not our pet; he is our firstborn. He resided in my womb for over 9 months and is the only human alive to know how my heartbeat sounds from the inside. Yes, I secretly want him to be a Mama's boy ... but not too much. I would even settle for him to begin preferring me again. But it's all about Daddy all the time right now, which is adorable. I can't help but feel a bit left out. I heard recently that young children are only able to focus on one adult at a time. Perhaps this means the pendulum will swing in my favor soon? I certainly hope so!

Regardless of who Will's current preferred parent is today, it's nearly impossible to see Greg and Will together and not smile. Your same-sex parent is hopefully going to be your most powerful role model in life, and Will certainly hit the jackpot there. Greg owns fatherhood and is a true natural. It's beautiful to see him exploring the world with Will in such a seemingly effortless way. He was meant to be a Dad.

Greg is convinced we are having a girl this time. I say it's another boy and remind Greg that the world would be a frightening place with a mini-Kay. No matter what the gender of our second child is, we feel beyond blessed. 

Too many deserving people and couples cannot have children who so desperately want them, and it is not fair. For those of us lucky enough to have children of our own, squeeze them a little tighter today, tell them you love them, and take ongoing mental snapshots of them at this very moment. They will grow up too fast, so take time to enjoy the moment now, even if your son or daughter is being difficult or not preferring you right now. 

Time flies, so be present and express love and gratitude. You'll be happy you did.

#familyfirst #soblessed #itsallaboutthenextgeneration 

Exciting announcement!

So, the LaBancas have a little announcement to make. Many of you have already guessed because: a) I'm not a subtle person and b) I'm already starting to show for those of you with the unfortunate pleasure of seeing me regularly. 😉

Yes, we are pregnant and expecting our second child in late May. Yes, we are quite ecstatic. Yes, we feel beyond blessed, especially when getting to hear our new one's precious heartbeat during our first ultrasound today. 

Babies truly are tiny miracles, and it's amazing what the human body is capable of naturally and what it can create from basically nothing. Beyond remarkable.

Some may find it silly or risky to announce my pregnancy before the end of my first trimester. And that is fine. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and preferences. As someone who has experienced recurrent pregnancy loss, though, I know the importance of having a support network when things don't turn out as planned. It makes me think of an article I posted briefly on my regular FB page (on announcing one's pregnancy early due to past miscarriages), which I then had to take down because everyone assumed it was a pregnancy announcement. Oh, the irony! 

God forbid something happens with this pregnancy, I know I will need genuine support and people who are there for me, people who already knew my news and can help me move forward. I will take my chances, as the worst thing one can do through any kind of loss, especially a miscarriage, is to remain silent and not share your experience. There is definitely strength in numbers, and you are never alone.

So, yes, toddler Will will have a sibling in the spring. Yes, I will have 2 under 2 for about a month. It's official, and we both seriously feel like the luckiest people in the world. Stick, little one, stick!

#beyondblessed #babylabanca2 #growbabygrow 

Be a part of the solution!

I have a real obsession. It's with the Ladder of Accountability. I refer to it constantly, have memorized it, and can apply it to most situations, both at work and home.

It really comes down to this: are you part of the problem or the solution? It really can't be both. 

If we are honest with ourselves, we know where we are on the ladder in given situations and can reflect on where we need to go. 

I've now been asked several times to make shirts for staff members with the ladder on them. I love the idea. I love the idea even more of having the ladder on the back of everyone's shirts and going around placing dot stickers on each person's back on where he or she is on the ladder. Then, you have everyone line up with their "stickered" shirts facing the camera, photograph what is seen, and then everyone can look at their own shirts. Brilliant? I think so.

Bottom line: life is too short to be part of the problem. Stop making excuses, acknowledge your reality, and make sh** happen. After all, you are in control over your own destiny. Make yourself proud ... and ensure people place their stickers on the upper rungs of your ladder in the process.

#solutionoriented #proactivity #geterdone 

Learn to take a compliment!

I cannot stand public recognition. In fact, I will run, hide, and avoid being recognized in front of others in any way possible, often deflecting attention with extreme humor, sarcasm, self-defamation, or a combination thereof.

I've always been very hard on myself and embarrassed when others praise me. I'm working on this. 

"Kay, I love your dress. It suits your figure well."

"Naw, it's nothing compared to your gorgeous boots! And OMG, just LOOK at those earrings! Stunning. Where did you get them?"

See how brilliantly - and so inconspicuously (Ha!) - I deflected a compliment onto the other person? It's only recently that I've been able to respond with a genuine "Thank you." It's still hard for me.

I guess education and teaching were always good fits for my extremely critical, overachieving personality. Teachers are notorious for being overworked, underpaid, and valued about as much as a cockroach in some circles. I could work around the clock, still never get done everything I wanted to get accomplished for my students, and rarely get thanked in the process. Wohoo! A dream come true!

I've learned a lot in my decade in the profession. I've calmed down, prioritized my family and myself more, learned to say no, and have even have taught myself how to properly receive compliments. I'm more balanced. I'm more flexible and laidback I'm more relaxed and at peace with myself. And I'm pretty sure I'm the happiest and most fulfilled I've ever been. Greg and Will play a huge role in that, along with an enormous dose of "You are enough" and "Take a chill pill."

My compliment-accepting abilities were tested this afternoon. A valued colleague and friend decided to pass her Educator of the Week trophy on to me this week, complete with a beautiful impromptu speech as well. I was honestly shocked to be awarded this title, as I'm usually the one giving compliments and awards and happily snapping pics for the school's Twitter page on the sideline.

I miss being with students full-time a lot these days, but this particular colleague reminded me of the wider impact my work as a staff developer and teacher coach has on hundreds of students each day. She reminded me that what I do matters, and that was worth more than any award in the world. 

#grateful #bestprofessionintheworld

For anyone who's had a miscarriage...

I have been filled with all kinds of emotions this week. Yesterday, in particular, was a bit difficult. It's always hard being reminded of our two angel babies, who we will never get to know. We named them Daniel and Timothy. We lit candles for them last night in honor International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day. My heart still aches for them.

I want all women who have experienced a miscarriage to know you're not alone. Perhaps these words can offer even just a little bit of solace:

You are loved.

You have a right to grieve.

Your baby was alive.

You experienced a significant loss.

It is OK to cry and mourn.

Take the time you need.

Reach out to others for help.

Be OK with whatever emotions you need to feel.

Scream.

Get angry.

Cry.

Cry again.

This is NOT fair.

This is NOT supposed to happen.

Why me?

Why now?

God damnit.

I hate this.

I hate everyone right now.

Above all, know that you are not alone.

Break the silence.

Share your story.

Educate others.

Know there is strength in numbers.

Know there is hope.

Know that maybe, just maybe, tomorrow will be better.

And no matter what happens, your heart will always carry a piece of the baby you never knew.

Your heart may always ache for that tiny being.

And you know what?

That's OK.

You're going to be OK.

You are strong.

You are capable.

You WILL get through this.

After all, you ARE a warrior woman.

Always.

Beyond blessed!

It's hard to believe our toddler is already 16 months old today. I am in complete denial about how quickly time is passing. 

Today also marks a very special day in the LaBanca household. Exactly two years ago, we saw two magical pink lines that changed our lives forever. Never in a million years could we have imagined what was in store for us. William is truly our precious gift from God who continues to amaze and impress us every single day. He's inquisitive about EVERYTHING, always wants to be reading, socializes well with everyone, and always finds a reason to smile. 

Parenthood is like falling in love all over again. It's like watching a piece of your heart exist apart from your body and blossom into something beautiful every day. It's truly magical.

William, you were certainly a long time coming with several false starts, but we couldn't be happier that you're here. You are already everything we could have ever hoped for in a son, and we can't wait to see what the future has in store for you. We love you to the moon and back, Will!

#beyondblessed #sonlove 

Good for her, not me!

Too exhausted for a long post, but I must tell you about my new favorite phrase: "Good for her, not me." 

Stop comparing yourself to other people. You are wonderful. You are talented. Simply put, you are enough.

My newest addiction: Amy Poehler's poignant book, Yes Please. Listen to it on Audible. She nails so many things. That expression above may be my favorite so far. She's on to something here. 

How often have YOU compared yourself to others? Thought you weren't worthy or inadequate? Wished you were someone else entirely?

Stop it. Just stop. You have more to offer the world than you realize. You are beautiful. You are enough....and don't let anyone ever convince you otherwise, warrior woman! 

#youareawarrior #beyourself #loveyourself

So blessed!

This was one of the best weekends we have had in a long time, the perfect combo of family, individual, and adult time and complete with great friends, food, laughs, and memories.

We have not used a non-grandparent sitter for Will in awhile and decided to see if his fave former teacher was available for watching him today. She was. What a blast they have had together all day too! Greg and I truly enjoyed spending the day in our old stomping ground of DC, getting to catch up together and with other awesome area friends we haven't seen in awhile. Nothing quite like a beautiful day with perfect company in our fave city! We really are blessed.

Unfortunately, we have seen several close friends go through separations or divorces recently, some of whom also have young children. That's always heartbreaking to see. It's only made open and honest communication even more of a top priority for Greg and me. We aim to never take the other for granted, take time for the other every day, and try to practice empathy for the other. 

Marriage is not easy. It takes hard work, compromise, and the ability to make decisions and communicate as a team. We may not always get what we want, and times will certainly not always be easy. I remember our vows well from our wedding over 7 years ago, and we have certainly already been through some difficult times. Luckily, we got through them and emerged stronger, ready to tackle whether challenge or obstacle lies ahead.

Greg is an amazing partner, husband, best friend, and father. I know I am beyond lucky and try my best to let him know this every day, even in the smallest way.

Take time to cherish your loved ones and tell them just how much they mean to you. Life is too short -- and precious -- not to.

#soblessed #gratitude 

Joy!

This face captures the pure joy of enjoying a Friday night in...and the awesome food that can come with it. #soblessed #happiestbabyever #gratitude 

Namaste!

It only seems appropriate to end today with a yoga prayer for inner and outer peace, seeing as I was fortunate enough to end the day in a beautiful Gentle Therapeutic Yoga class at Sage Yoga. Happy almost Friday, all! #thankgoodness

May there be peace in heaven,

Peace in the skies,

And peace on earth.

May all the waters know peace,

May all the herbs and plants know peace,

May the great trees of the forest know peace.

May all the forces of the universe know peace.

The immense, transcendent Reality is peace.

May all know peace,

Peace and only peace,

And may that peace come unto me.

Om peace, peace, peace.

Gratitude matters!

I'm grateful for the little things today -- a delicious BBQ chicken salad, new purple nails for fall, my son walking everywhere (and happily tearing up the house in the process), and being in bed before 9:30 pm. I'm not sure life can get any better. #mommywin #purebliss #soblessed 

Balance!

Hi, my name is Kay, and as you know, I have an addictive personality. This has lead me to doing all kinds of crazy things impulsively, from getting 5 tattoos to running a 50 miler just to see if I could finish it (And I did!). I have had to learn how to be less impulsive and more rational, and thankfully, my husband is a master at this. We are opposites in many ways, and it just works. It really does.

Sometimes, my addictive personality prevents me from making smart or logical decisions. Take reading for example. Ever since the dawn of time, I have loved reading. It quickly became an obsession, and I could never get my hands on enough books. My husband is the same way, and it's no surprise that our son is heading in that direction too. The sheer number of books in our house is absurd, even with my Kindle and audiobooks on Audible (Speaking of new obsessions...).

So, I just HAVE to share my latest, awesome find with you, Carry On, Warrior: The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life by Glennon Doyle Melton. Many thanks to my girl, Mary, for recommending it! Could there be a better titled book for this page?!! I think not.

So, yeah, this book is my current love. It even prevented me from getting to my 5 am OT class yesterday because I was up reading it too late. #bookwormfail

I know many of us are striving to find that true balance in life between work, family, ourselves, and all of the other commitments we have. I am certainly a work in progress with this. Who isn't?

I need to share with you some of Melton's thoughts on balance:

---

When folks ask me how I find "balance" what they are really saying is, "I feel so much tension in my life. How do I get rid of it all and find peace?" I always say that I think we have the wrong idea about what balance is. 

Balance is not the absence of tension -- it's achieved through tension. My yoga teacher taught me that balance happens when opposing forces pass equally against an object. I have that kind of balance. I have marriage pressing in and kids pressing in and work pressing in, and church pressing in and friends pressing in and I think of all of these powerful, worthy forces working together to keep me solid, upright, and balanced. When it feels like one is pushing too hard and I get wobbly, I just focus on strengthening the others up a bit. And I just make sure that everything causing tension is worthy of pressing on me.

I think that we women must make peace with the fact that since we care so much and serve so much and assume so many roles and great loves, we will always feel tension pressing in. But maybe we can think of that tension as holding us up instead of tearing us down. It would be a great tragedy to have nothing important pressing in at all.

---

Isn't she great? I love her and her writing. So, what's worthy of pressing on YOU today?

#findingbalance #lifelongjourney #positivity

No fear here!

I mentioned two potential perks of rainy weekends yesterday: sleeping in and naps. I'm notoriously bad with both of those, but I made significant progress today with a third category -- extreme OCD organization. 

A wise woman today told me that trying to clean or organize with a child present is like cleaning your teeth while eating Oreos. Yes! This picture below is worth a thousand words. William tries his darnedest to be helpful, even when it involves a diaper palooza. I think he already understands that one of the greatest feelings in the world is getting rid of unneeded junk and donating other items to charity. We certainly got A LOT of that accomplished today! Our little version of LaBanca fall cleaning 2015, version 1.0.

I'm hoping Will picks up some of my organization tricks, as I tend to be an instigator and influence people...occasionally. Hehe. Apparently, I inspired one of my friends from college to get her first tattoo today...at the same studio I got one of mine in Chicago! She chose an awesome phrase: "fear is paper tigers." It's from an Amelia Earhart quote, and I love it!

Grateful!

It's been a few days, and I wish I had an excuse. I don't. I'm tired and chose to go to bed earlier. My brain hurt. Life is crazy insane....and in the BEST possible way.

As I often do, it's fun to reflect on things I'm grateful for since Thursday:

1. Fellow Mommy friends and play dates where Will can be himself and have his true happy, social self shine through. He's still quite the bookworm too, which warms my heart.

2. We didn't get anywhere near what the worst case scenario could have been with Hurricane Joaquin. Windy, rainy weekend days = perfect nap and sleeping in weather. I got to do the former after Will went to bed tonight. #mommywin

3. More good news this week. I look forward to being able to share more about it soon. Sorry to be so vague in the meantime!

4. My Ragnar Relay DC team kicked some serious a** over the last 24 hours in some very challenging, rainy, and cold conditions. While I was certainly bummed I could not run with them, I was there in spirit and loved seeing their happy, inspiring FB posts throughout the weekend. What true grit and determination!

5. My hubby rocks! #duh #lovehim

Make it a FANTASTIC end to your weekend! #gotrainnoproblem #gratitude