Calm is strength!

I survived. Yes, I survived my first night totally on my own with both boys. We are all still alive. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

And Greg says I even look calm and happy. He's clearly delusional. 😝😝

Greg has a lot of crazy, amazing things happening at work right now, causing him to pull in long hours tonight and tomorrow night. 😁 Judging by how sensitively and gingerly he approached me tonight, it was evident he thought I was going to have either lost it or be in tears. But alas, I was OK. I still am. 💪🏻💪🏾👶🏻👶🏻

Despite meltdowns/tantrums from both boys during bedtime and a few other challenging moments throughout the afternoon, I managed to take things in stride, remain at least somewhat calm, and even find some hilarity in the insanity that is the reality of raising two boys under three. 😂😂

Both boys were comfortably asleep by 9. Will chose to continue happily reading and talking to himself for well over an hour after he went down, while Dan just wanted to continually comfort nurse and snuggle until drifting off to sleep. We are blessed with two awesome sleepers so far -- keep it up, boys! 💤💤💤

It's also hard to believe that Dan is already a month old today. 😳Well, he was born May 31, and with only 30 days in June, today will have to do. Time is already flying, and I need it to slow down. Now. 🌟🌟

I've been told it gets easier. I know it will, and I think that knowledge gives me newfound strength during the trying moments. 💪🏻💪🏾💪🏻💪🏾

This too shall pass. Repeat. 💗💗

One day, the boys will be old enough to play together. I can't wait to see what their relationship as brothers blossoms into! 👶🏻👶🏻

And in the meantime, I will continue to embrace educational expert Fred Jones's favorite adage -- Calm IS strength. 🙏🏻😩🍼🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷

Grandparents rock!!

I never really got to know my grandparents growing up. I was never close to them. 😔

The fact that Will -- and eventually Dan -- already has such strong connections to and relationships with both sets of his grandparents is beautiful to see. Even though neither set lives close to us, we treasure the time Will has with them whenever they visit or we make the journey to them. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

My amazing mother-in-law recently shared an article with me that highlights how special and meaningful the child-grandparent relationship can be. I want to continue to encourage, foster, and honor this bond while I still have the chance to, certainly before it's too late. 👶🏻👶🏻

I hope some piece of the article resonates with you and that your children get to know the true beauty of a grandparent in their lives. 

💗💗💗

As my MIL said, "I'm so sad that my boys did not have this grandma and so happy to be this grandma for your boys." 💙💙

And we are beyond lucky to have you, Grandma!! 💞💞

http://www.upworthy.com/a-letter-to-my-mother-in-law-about-my-3-boys?g=2&c=ufb1

Feminist dads rock!

Greg is definitely a feminist dad. Thank God for him. 😍😍😍

Too exhausted to write more, but definitely check out this article! Definitely worth the read. 🌟🌟👏🏼👏🏼

http://www.scarymommy.com/shout-out-feminist-dads/?utm_source=FB

Ahhhhh!!!

There's nothing quite like a nice, warm shower at the end of a long day of Mommyhood, especially when you're soaked in your own breast milk. 😂😂😂

Yes, it was definitely one of those days. 😫

Dan likes to turn into a monster at around noon and refuse to calm down until I either nurse and/or continually hold and walk him around. I know this is normal newborn behavior, but when combined with a cantankerous toddler with regular tantrums, it's a hot mess. 😫😫

I know it may seem like I usually have my shit together, but today -- and especially this afternoon with both boys -- was not the case whatsoever. I took everything in my power not to have a screaming or crying tantrum myself. 😩😩😩 And, of course, the DMV traffic was a nightmare, per usual, so Greg couldn't get home until later. 😫😫😫😫

My great friend Catherine told me today about "rage rooms" she heard about on a documentary where you can go in, scream, and throw things until your heart's content. Yes, they exist. And the most popular customers? Teachers and stay at home moms. 😂😂

I know; this too shall pass, but today made me question why anyone ever has more than one or two children. Y'all deserve real gold medals and designated sainthood.👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🌟🌟🌟💗💗💗

Dan will be up again soon, so to bed this exhausted Mama goes. 💤💤💤

So grateful!!

Greg goes back to work tomorrow. 😥😥😥

I know; I know. I'm blessed he got THIS much time off (4 weeks). He was originally planning to take up to 6 weeks, but I can tell he's getting eager to return, and Dan is doing so well. So, we figured this timing made sense. 😁

Yes, I will miss him. Greg has been an absolutely phenomenal help this last month, with Will, Dan, Dexter, the house, meals, the yard, everything. He even managed to get several house and garden projects done, including a complete reorganization of our entire basement this weekend. The layout is completely different and SO much more inviting. It's not done yet, but I'll post a few pics! 💪🏻

Greg and Will have a really special connection now. Will is completely attached to Dada and prefers him right now, which works out well with Dan practically living on my boob. 👶🏻🍼

I treasured the time the four of us had last week, especially after we got our house back following our houseguests' visits. We really tried to make the most of it!! Have newborn, will go to a brewery AND winery on the same day! 😊😜😉🍷

My turn to rant for a moment -- This country is absolutely ridiculous with the lack of quality, consistent, or long enough paid maternity or paternity leave, as we all know. Greg is fortunate enough to work for a team that allows him to use his accumulated sick time for paternity leave. He has an absurd amount of days saved up too, so this worked out well. And I'm lucky with the timing of Dan -- and my new job -- to not worry about using any leave this summer as a teacher. Even though I delivered him on May 31, I still burned through my remaining sick days and had to use our union's sick leave bank to ensure I was paid through June 21 (Our school year was longer this year due to our high number of snow days) So, I will start the fall with a very limited number of sick days and two small children. Joy! 😫😫😫

Back to positive things, though. I'm beyond grateful for Greg and all he does for our family! And I know there's a teeny tiny part of him that's excited to get back to work tomorrow too. 😉👏🏼😝

The dreaded 6 week wait!

I'm getting antsy. 😝😝😝

I hate the six week rule. 😫😫😫

I'm fine with the no swimming and pelvic rest. It's the no working out that drives me a bit nutty. 😜😜😜

With Will, I was so overwhelmed being a new parent that the six week rule didn't matter. For some reason, the wait seems a lot longer this time around. 😁😁

I know; I know. 

Six weeks really isn't THAT long, and I shouldn't be rushing back into any exercise too soon. My body has been through a traumatic event and needs time to fully heal. And the six week appointment is where my doctor can give me the all-clear. 😊

In the meantime, I'm still trying to get in a reasonable amount of movement every day with daily walks with Dexter and the boys. But it's not the same. I really miss Barre (Shocker, right?!). I would love to go back to the studio soon and attend a class, modifying as much as I did into my 40th week of pregnancy and avoiding all ab work. 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences with the 6 week wait! I know I can suck it up (I only have two weeks left come Tuesday), but I also know my body and would not do anything stupid.

Help!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

New job!!

It's been quite the awesome week so far! 🌟🌟🌟

After over a month of house guests, we finally got our space back to just the four of us Monday morning. While we are certainly grateful for ALL of the help my awesome in-laws and parents provided us, it's such a relief to finally get into a daily rhythm and routine as a family of four. Such a blessing!👨👩👦👦

Dan continues to be an amazingly chill and easy baby, practically sleeping through the night already. 💤💤 I know there are bound to be regressions, but we are enjoying every good night we can get right now! 

Nursing is finally hurting less. I am grateful for all of the advice and support many of you have given me. Thank you! 🍼🍼🍼

Perhaps the biggest news of the week -- I have a new job starting in August! I will be the brand new ESOL Focus Teacher at Northwest High School. This basically means I will be a kind of case manager and "guardian angel" for 45 RELLs (students recently exited from ESOL services) in grades 9-12, all of whom are chronically ineligible (GPAs less than 2.0). I will pull into their academic classes and pull them out of classes to provide individualized support. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

This is my kind of dream position right now -- flexibility, access to and working with kids all day, and the opportunity to collaborate with teachers across subject areas to find creative ways to best meet the students' needs. I couldn't be happier or more excited!! 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

I interviewed and was offered the position on Tuesday. Apparently, the principal ran all over the parking lot and school trying to find me shortly after the interview (I was in the Media Center visiting a friend). She then called me, and I found her in the office. 😜

"The job is yours. Please say you'll accept," she said. She's a no non-sense kind of leader I love.

"Of course," I replied. 

I was warned this might happen a truly felt confident about my decision. 💗💗

It is bittersweet leaving behind such a wonderful staff at my current school, but I had to listen to my gut and intuition about keeping options open for next year. It was a heck of a long process that started in February.

And it was most certainly worth the wait! Here's to new opportunities and beginnings!! 🌟🌟🌟

Whirlwind weekend!

What a whirlwind weekend this has been! 😝😝😝

We survived Will's 2nd birthday party yesterday with 38 people, including 12 toddlers. Nothing was broken, and our house is still standing. #win 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

It was adorable to see how excited Will got when everyone sang him "Happy Birthday." He loved it! He especially loved opening all his presents today, many of which involved his favorite cars and trucks! What a lucky boy. 🎉👶🏻🚚🚗🚒

Last night, we moved Daniel into his own room for the first time, and he did beautifully! He slept for over 5 hours straight, nursed, and then went for another 4 hours (even putting himself to sleep after being wide awake post-nursing!!). He's a speaker and "talker" in his sleep, so I actually ended up getting a lot more consistent rest with Dan across the hall. Greg was right; I'll admit it. Keep up the great work, Dan! 💤💤💤

Today marked the last full day my parents are in town, so we tried to make it a special Father's Day for everyone. From iHop to lots of family time to Jimmie Cone, we did things my Dad especially likes. It will be weird not having them here after tomorrow morning, but getting back into a family routine after so long will be nice indeed.👨👩👦👦

I hope you enjoy some fun pics from our weekend adventures. I love how calm and chill Dan looks in his! Will, not so much. 😂😂😂

Leaving the house!

"Do you always have this much energy? I think I have a lot of energy, but I am exhausted just listening to you!"

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Yes, the principal I interviewed with today asked this at the end of my interview. My response:

"What you see is what you get, though I may be a bit crazier than normal due to having a newborn and not sleeping." 😂😂

Gotta love it.😜😜

It was a fun, happy interview, a lot less stressful than the Central Office ones I had last month. I should know something by midweek next week. Fingers crossed!🙏🏻🙏🏻

It's funny just how excited I am to leave the house these days, even for mundane errands. Yesterday was talk therapy, today the interview, and tomorrow we are having a crowd for Will's 2nd birthday. The weather is supposed to be beautiful, and I am beyond excited!!!☀️☀️☀️🎉🎉🎉

Daniel continues to have a fussy period between 5-9 pm, which basically consists of me nursing him on the couch constantly, him getting fussy, and lots of crying on his part. Good times for all! He slept for a good 5 hour stretch last night after this, though, so we are hoping for a repeat performance tonight! Come on, Daniel! You can do it!! 💤💤💤

I also need more caffeine in my life, perhaps in the form of a delicious cup of coffee in the AM. This morning, I woke up with an excruciating headache, which I think was caused by dehydration due to all my nursing. I never drank coffee before Will, and perhaps it's something I need to think about more regularly now.☕️☕️☕️

I really should go to bed now to get ample rest for the party tomorrow. Ha!! I guess that's all up to Daniel.😝😝😝

Ah, parenting. 😍😍😍

Sleep, please!!!

It's too bad we don't remember being newborns, a time when all we had to worry about was eating, sleeping, and pooping. Talk about having the good life! 💤🍼💩

Around the two week mark, most newborns go through a particularly fussy stage characterized by the 3 Cs: crankiness, clinginess, and crying. This is where Daniel was all day today. He constantly wanted to be held and nursed -- and protested quite a bit when this did not happen. What a set of lungs he has too! My boobs ache; they've worked hard today! 😫😫😫

I neglected to mention the good news from the doctor yesterday -- Dan is already up to 7 lb, 3 oz (His birth weight was 6 lb, 7 oz!), and he has also grown 2.5 inches since birth too. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 This means we no longer have to wake him up for middle of the night feedings. Score! My boobs were in so much pain overnight last night that I ended up pumping at 2 am. Ahhh, relief! Dan slept in over 4 hour segments, and the sleep felt amazing. Keep it up, little guy! 💤💤💤

To add to our insanity, Will was also a total mess tonight. We have had house guests for over a month now, and I think it's finally catching up to him. We are all eager at this point to get into a new routine for the four of us, which will happen beginning on Monday morning. Woohoo! We can't wait.🌟🌟🌟

Because I am such a crazy person, I have another job interview tomorrow. I think I should have Dan attached to my boob during it for dramatic effect. 😂😂😂

So, yes, life is crazy, and I'm reminded of the mantra: this too shall pass. It did with Will, and it will with Dan. We have much more confidence this time around, and I am beyond blessed to have such an active, amazing partner by my side. 💗💗💗

So now, sleep, please, Dan, sleep!! 💤💤💤

Already two years old!

We survived bringing both boys to the doctor's at the same time!👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

I smartly coordinated Dan's 2 week well visit with Will's 2 year appointment. Boy, was I glad to have Greg there with me! Will was a hot mess during the entire experience while Dan was chill and quiet, barely even complaining when they had to prick his foot. What a trooper! 🌟🌟

I still can't believe that Will turned 2 yesterday. Time flies by WAY too fast. He had an awesome day celebrating at school and then with us at home. We are looking forward to his official birthday party this weekend too!!🎉🎉🎉🎈🎈🎈

I am struck by how often Greg gets complimented for being a kick-ass Dad. He totally is, but I find it a bit disappointing and surprising that people still are thrilled to see hands-on dads today in 2016. Come on, people! Dads SHOULD be just as involved with their kids' lives and upbringings as Moms are. After all, it takes a village! 👶🏻👶🏻

I don't know what I would do without Greg, particularly with his laidback nature and "calm is strength" attitude. He approaches parenting with confidence and ease and is a real natural. I learn from him every day. 💗💗

So, take time to thank your partners for all they do. We don't do this enough, that's for sure. 💞💞💞

Exhaustion!

"Honey, you look tired."

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Gee, I wonder why!! 😜😝😩

I bet I will look this way for the next 18 years. 😩😩😩

But my boys are worth it. For sure.💞💞💞

Let's go back to our breastfeeding discussion again. I've been told that the pain lessens after two weeks, which is tomorrow for us. Fingers crossed! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

I've also been told nipple shields help, and I am seriously considering getting one to help with the latch pain. I also need to get better at applying nipple cream after each feeding. Any fave recommendations?? 🌟

I am determined to make this work with Daniel and am already in a much better place with it than I ever was with Will. Keep those words of encouragement and suggestions coming! 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

I have also started pumping whenever I feel really uncomfortable. I figure this will help me build up a freezer supply for when I go back to school in the fall.👶🏻👶🏻🍼🍼

In other news, Will turns 2 tomorrow. I'm still not sure exactly how this happened.💗💗💗

In parenting, the days may be long, but boy, are the years short!! 😍😍😍

Weekend madness!

Weekends used to be a time of relaxation and rejuvenation, a time where you took care of yourself and did exactly what you wanted. 🍶🍵🍸🍹🍨

Then came children. 👶🏻👶🏻👶🏻👶🏻

Now, every weekend is like an episode of Survivor where I am just trying to stay alive and on the island, all while ensuring those depending on me are safe, healthy, and happy. 😫😫

Yes, this gets exhausting. Fast. 😫😫😫

While I certainly am not complaining about motherhood, let's take a moment to mourn the pre-kid weekend rituals you are unlikely to fully have again until your kids move out: 😝😝

1. Sleeping in. 💤💤

2. Breakfast in bed. 🍳🍞🍹

3. Long brunches in the city with bottomless mimosas.🍾🍾🍾

4. Spontaneously doing whatever you want however you want to do it.🎤🎟🎭🎖

5. Putting your needs first.👙💋👣

6. Going out to eat as much as possible and cooking as little as possible.🍽🍽🍽

7. Midday naps just because.💤💤💤

8. Bar hopping.🍺🍻🍷

9. Pretending you're 22 again and staying out as late as possible, since you have no real responsibilities the next day anyway.😂😂

10. Being able to fully recover from a hangover without being badgered by a little person.👶🏻😝😫

The list goes on.😜

My point? If you don't yet have children, live it up and don't become fully lame just yet. There's still a little bit of hope for you.😂😂

And if you've already been blessed with little rugrats, don't fear. One day, they too will leave the nest, and you'll be left there crying with a box of tissues.

No, life isn't fair. 😜

But this too shall pass, and it's still ALL good. 🙏🏻💪🏻🌟

Breastfeeding!

Let's talk breastfeeding. 🍼🍼

Will and I never really got into a good rhythm with it, and I ended up exclusively pumping for over 8 months. This was like having another full-time job. No joke. 😫😫😫

I'm determined to do things differently this time around with Dan. And thus far, it is working out SO much better. Dan is a champion latcher and nurser who LOVES the boob and, as said before, would stay on it all day if I let him. Silly boy. 🌟😝

I'm trying to be patient with myself this time around as well. I still find the initial latching a bit painful but am getting into a routine and rhythm with Dan quite nicely. 💪🏻 The breast engorgement is down, I am more comfortable, and I'm continuing to gain confidence that this time, BFing is going to work. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

I am considering joining a La Leche League support group to help motivate and encourage me. Any of you Mamas have experience or luck with this? I am curious.🌟

For now, I am taking things one day at a time, not putting unnecessary pressure on myself, and enjoying all the bonding time with Dan during our nursing sessions. 💞💞💞👶🏻👶🏻

After all, some day, I will look back and wish he was this little and innocent again. I must enjoy this while I can! 🍼🍼

My birth story!

My birth story. I guess I should finally write it down before I forget -- or repress -- it. 😂😂

I lost my mucus plug throughout the day on Monday, 5/30 but proceeded with life as normal. By Tuesday morning, my contractions had started, causing my doctor to say head to the hospital. We did, checked in, and then spent the next few hours in triage, with my variable contractions being monitored. After 2 pm, Dr. Apgar decided to admit me. He explained that there was no medical reason to keep BBL2 on the inside, since he was already overdue, so I was brought to a Labor & Delivery room (with windows!!), and Petocin was started to regulate my contractions and get the process started. 👏🏼👏🏼

With Will, I didn't have time to get an epidural, so I knew I would get one this time if all went well. I did, and it was glorious! 🌟🌟 My contractions intensified, and I could barely feel anything. The weirdest part was the total numbing of my legs. Very bizarre. 😜

A few hours later, I could feel BBL2 descending. I was fully dilated, and Daniel Robert LaBanca was born at 8:02 pm after just three pushes. He even managed to cause a second degree tear and burst an artery on his way out! Sweet boy. 😝😫😫

Then the annoying part happened. The umbilical cord broke prematurely, and my cervix closed with my retained placenta still inside me. After only a few minutes of getting to hold precious little feisty Daniel (and lots of unsuccessful digging and attempts to retrieve my placenta by the doctor), I was whisked away to the OR to undergo a D&C to get the rest of the placenta. I was placed under general anesthesia and warned that a hysterectomy might have to occur if anything was abnormal with my placenta. Ahhhh!! Totally NOT what I wanted to hear going into the procedure! 😫😫😫

Within minutes, I was fully out, and the procedure began. Luckily, all went well, and I woke up soon afterwards on oxygen. I went to a recovery room and was beyond eager to be reunited with my boys, which happened a few hours later. 💞💞

Luckily, I was blessed with absolutely fabulous doctors and nurses throughout everything, who clearly explained what was happening. I so appreciated that. Daniel and I were both in extraordinary health. He passed all of his little screenings and tests, and we were able to go home less than 48 hours after his birth. 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

I am grateful that my recovery at home has gone so well. My bleeding has pretty much stopped already, I only take Motrin and Tylenol as needed (despite having Rxes for painkillers, which I found very unnecessary), and I enjoy my sitz baths three times a day. 💧💧💧

Daniel is completely worth it, and we are beyond blessed. I'm pretty sure he would still be in my womb if he hadn't been evicted!! 👶🏻😝🌟💗😜😍

We got out!!

We made it out of the house for an outing for the first time today as a family of 4! Woohoo! 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

Granted, it was only across the neighborhood to our good friends' house, but that's still something! 😜 It was the first time we got both boys out of the house together and sat them in their car seats next to each other. Brothers for life! 👶🏻👶🏻

I cannot stress to you just how amazing it is to have a husband who is SO hands-on as a parent. Greg isn't afraid to get his hands, clothes, and self dirty -- with any kind of secretion, literally -- every day. He loves his boys more than anything, and it shows. He is able to take up to six weeks off for paternity leave and always puts our family first. I am truly blessed. 💗💗💗

Daniel continues to be a ridiculously sweet and chill baby. I cannot wait to see how his personality grows and develops -- and what kind of younger brother he will be to Will. 💞💞

Thankfully, Will was in a MUCH better mood today and started requesting me more again. This is a welcome change from the "Go away, Mommy"s of the last few days. He is dealing with a lot of change right now even before the age of two, so I'm trying to be as consistent, loving, and patient with him as possible. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Life is good. I am blessed and grateful. And every time I look at my boys, I am reminded of what is truly important in life: family, love, faith, and cherishing the time you can spend together. Nothing else matters more. 

Beyond blessed!

Yes, I've been gone awhile. And yes, I have a good excuse. 😜

Greg and I have been adjusting to the awesomeness and chaos that is having 2 boys under 2. Daniel was born a week ago last night, and we couldn't be happier with how everything is working out so far. 💗💗💗

Let's talk about little feisty Daniel. In addition to being a very chill and relaxed baby who sleeps well (so far -- knock on wood!!), he is also a championship latcher and nurser. He would happily stay on my boob all day if I let him. I had issues nursing Will, so this is a huge relief. Dan is also extremely alert and curious, constantly taking in the world around him when not sleeping, eating, or popping. Unlike his brother, pooping is no issue. Allelujah!!💩💩💩

And thankfully, for the most part, Will is adjusting beautifully. He calls Dan "Baby Daniel" and often verbalizes who his family members are: Mommy, Dada, William, Baby Daniel, and doggie. How sweet is that?! 💞 He had a meltdown tonight from being overstimulated but loves still going to school every day and having my parents here (They arrived Monday night). 👶🏻👶🏻

We are quickly getting into a routine with both boys, and Greg could not be a better or more hands-on father. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I have barely changed a diaper yet! It has been a beautiful emotional roller coaster. We couldn't be happier and feel beyond blessed to have both of these precious boys in our lives. What an enormous gift! 😍😍😍

I even got out of the house today to drive to my weekly talk therapy session and get Panera for lunch, which felt amazing. I may have overdone it with a long walk today, so I will get more rest tomorrow. 💤💤

Parenting is definitely the hardest thing I have ever done, but I still look forward to having the privilege of doing it every single day. I may be an outnumbered #boymom, but I wouldn't have it any other way. 👨👩👦👦

I promise to share my eventful birth story with you all soon too!😝

Keep fighting the good fight, Mamas. You rock!! 👏🏼💪🏻🌟😍👶🏻🎉